Can Women Do That?

Pastor Linda gave me some homework last week: to write about the challenges associated with being a woman in ministry that I have encountered thus far. I'm also taking a class called Sex and Scripture, so this topic is near to my heart right now, and I'm sure I'll be thinking about it a lot over the next months. So here is that reflection:

One of the first challenges for women in ministry that I have noticed while working at St. Mark is what to wear. Whereas male ministers have a clear cut “uniform” of a suit, it seems that there is no such comparable garb for a female pastor. I find myself staring into my closet on Saturday night, wondering what would be most appropriate to wear at church on Sunday. If it is appropriate for Sunday worship, am I going to be overdressed for Confirmation and youth group later that day? Can I wear a skirt or dress? Can I wear open-toed shoes? Can I wear some jewelry?

This is an issue I have never really had to address before. In my jobs during high school and college, I either had a uniform or I was babysitting. People either automatically knew my role in the situation or they were younger than me and therefore deferred to my authority. In the church, however, I want to make sure I not only convey who I am as a person, but I need to be modest, and dress for the job to which I aspire. Just last week, someone told me they liked my outfit. Although I said “thank you,” I automatically wondered if my clothing was distracting from the point of church. 

I do not think I have been this hyperconscious of my clothing since high school, and then I was trying to impress everyone. As I go through this field education experience, I want to continue learning how to express myself through how I dress without being a stumbling block to anyone in the congregation. There is definitely not a simple answer, but I am finding my way.

The other greatest challenge I have seen so far is not letting emotions get in the way of ministry. During the baptism this past Sunday, I got teary-eyed. Baptism is a wonderful, powerful experience, and it definitely moved me this past week. At the other end of the spectrum, I am very aware of other people’s suffering and fairly empathetic. I have been known to cry from seeing someone else cry. This is a challenge that is specific to me, but I also think that women in general have to deal with their emotions a lot. I will need to learn how to keep my emotions in check during baptisms, weddings, etc., but I also need to figure out when it is appropriate to share those emotions. There are times to “toughen up” and times to let loose with emotions, and one of my goals is to determine these and learn how to deal with each situation.