"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, 'It is finished.' With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."
John 19:30
On the last day of my experiment, I chose the most difficult call we have as Christians. Like Jesus, we are called to be self-sacrificing. Jesus gave up his life to save the world. Each step over the past 40 days has been one of many on the path to be more like Jesus, and this is the ultimate.
Obviously, this wasn't something that I could contrive. Being self-sacrificing is something I must intentionally do in the moment. At each juncture of my life, I need to make sure that I am taking actions that follow Jesus' call on my life.
I have really learned and gained a lot from this experiment. Sometimes, it's very difficult for me to see the good in people, to share my faith, to remember the call on my life. In the day-to-day, I occasionally lose sight of who I am and whose I am. I am much more aware of myself, my actions, and my thoughts now than I was a little over a month ago when this began. Even if I only change one small thing about myself each day, I am growing ever closer to Jesus. Yet there is nothing I can do that will earn me the grace that God already gave, so I will definitely keep that in mind. We are called to be like Jesus, but we are also called to remember that we cannot save ourselves. Nothing but the grace of God can do that.
25.8.11
23.8.11
Day 39
"'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'"
Matthew 28:19-20
So here I am, fooling around at the house before my third day of seminary. And despite the massive headache and overwhelming-ness that is the first few days of any school, I've been trying to focus on my reasons for being at seminary. One of the main reasons is to be better equipped to follow Jesus' command from the end of Matthew. Obviously, all Christians are called to follow this command, but I am going to be making a career out of it.
I have trouble sharing the Gospel message with people I don't know. I have no problem talking about theology with my friends, family, and fellow students. Yet telling someone I don't know about the wonderful, amazing news of the Gospel seems extremely intimidating. How do I get over this roadblock? I'm hoping seminary, my tenacity, and lots of prayers will get me to a point of more easily following God's commands.
Matthew 28:19-20
So here I am, fooling around at the house before my third day of seminary. And despite the massive headache and overwhelming-ness that is the first few days of any school, I've been trying to focus on my reasons for being at seminary. One of the main reasons is to be better equipped to follow Jesus' command from the end of Matthew. Obviously, all Christians are called to follow this command, but I am going to be making a career out of it.
I have trouble sharing the Gospel message with people I don't know. I have no problem talking about theology with my friends, family, and fellow students. Yet telling someone I don't know about the wonderful, amazing news of the Gospel seems extremely intimidating. How do I get over this roadblock? I'm hoping seminary, my tenacity, and lots of prayers will get me to a point of more easily following God's commands.
21.8.11
Day 38
"'But what about you?' he asked. 'Who do you say I am?' Simon Peter answered, 'You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.'"
Matthew 16:15-16
My theme today came from worship at my first day of seminary. I've been feeling pretty nervous, worried, terrified, etc. about starting seminary, and especially about going full-time. The admissions director preached on this text during the sermon today. She pointed out that Simon says a lot of really stupid, unplanned things while Jesus is alive. Yet he became one of the leaders of the first Christian church. How is that possible?
Because God uses even the least of us, those of us who have no idea what we're saying, those of us who make promises we can't keep, those of us who have faith for a great minute, only to use it the next. Peter did all these things, yet he also recognized Jesus for who he was and he wasn't afraid to proclaim it.
We can all learn a lot from Peter's example. Like Abraham, David, and Jonah before him, Peter made mistakes. He didn't always trust God when he should have. But God still chose him to be a leader. Like I said in a much earlier post, we are all called to be ministers wherever we are; we don't have to be perfect, though, and that's a relief.
The other "Jesus" thing I took from this passage is that we should encourage one another, even when one of us makes mistakes. I felt that encouragement tonight, and I hope all of you recognize your own value and power in God's great plan.
Matthew 16:15-16
My theme today came from worship at my first day of seminary. I've been feeling pretty nervous, worried, terrified, etc. about starting seminary, and especially about going full-time. The admissions director preached on this text during the sermon today. She pointed out that Simon says a lot of really stupid, unplanned things while Jesus is alive. Yet he became one of the leaders of the first Christian church. How is that possible?
Because God uses even the least of us, those of us who have no idea what we're saying, those of us who make promises we can't keep, those of us who have faith for a great minute, only to use it the next. Peter did all these things, yet he also recognized Jesus for who he was and he wasn't afraid to proclaim it.
We can all learn a lot from Peter's example. Like Abraham, David, and Jonah before him, Peter made mistakes. He didn't always trust God when he should have. But God still chose him to be a leader. Like I said in a much earlier post, we are all called to be ministers wherever we are; we don't have to be perfect, though, and that's a relief.
The other "Jesus" thing I took from this passage is that we should encourage one another, even when one of us makes mistakes. I felt that encouragement tonight, and I hope all of you recognize your own value and power in God's great plan.
17.8.11
Day 37 (Tuesday)
"Once more Jesus said to them, 'I am going away, and you will look for me, and you will die in your sin. Where I go, you cannot come.'"
John 8:21
When Jesus went to die, he had to go alone. No one else could do what he was about to do to save humanity.
Now, I'm not saying that the sacrifice Wes and I have made by moving away from our family and friends is anywhere near that of Jesus. Don't get me wrong. But as we are here in Texas visiting everyone, I've realized that we have gone away to a place where no one can follow. Sure, someone could move for a job in PA or NJ or NY, but the chances are slim, and, even then, most of our friends and family would still be down here in Texas.
It's tough to be that far away, knowing everyone will be down here for the next few years while we're in New Jersey. Occasionally, we'll be able to visit Texas, or someone will come visit us, but things will not be the same until we return. Where we go, not everyone can follow.
John 8:21
When Jesus went to die, he had to go alone. No one else could do what he was about to do to save humanity.
Now, I'm not saying that the sacrifice Wes and I have made by moving away from our family and friends is anywhere near that of Jesus. Don't get me wrong. But as we are here in Texas visiting everyone, I've realized that we have gone away to a place where no one can follow. Sure, someone could move for a job in PA or NJ or NY, but the chances are slim, and, even then, most of our friends and family would still be down here in Texas.
It's tough to be that far away, knowing everyone will be down here for the next few years while we're in New Jersey. Occasionally, we'll be able to visit Texas, or someone will come visit us, but things will not be the same until we return. Where we go, not everyone can follow.
16.8.11
Day 36 (Monday)
"Jesus said to them, 'Come and have breakfast.'"
John 21:12
I realized how important breaking bread with friends truly is as we came to Texas yesterday. Jon Lys picked us up from the airport, drove us to my great aunt's house, and took us to Whataburger on the way. Sure, we talked in the car, but there's just nothing that compares to sharing a (delicious) meal with a friend. One day, I might not remember what we ate together, or even that Jon picked us up from the airport, but I'll definitely remember that he was kind enough to spend time eating with us.
On our way down to the New Braunfels, we stopped to see our good ol' professor, RJ. He took us to a wonderful yogurt place, and we caught up on all the random parts of our lives. Enjoying food was, once again, a great unifying experience, and we had a great time together. I'm not saying that the trip to the bookstore wasn't great, but sharing food in Christian community was important yet again.
Finally, we had dinner with a bunch of our San Antonio area friends. Despite getting together for weddings several times since college graduations, I always enjoy group dinners the most. Sure, we could get together and play a game, watch a movie, or just hang out, but there is nothing like sharing a meal with great friends. Talking, laughing, and eating together is something that I wouldn't miss for the world.
Jesus and his disciples spent a lot of time eating together. The most significant was, of course, the Last Supper, but every meal they share is important. I hope I can remember that as I continue to share meals with great friends.
John 21:12
I realized how important breaking bread with friends truly is as we came to Texas yesterday. Jon Lys picked us up from the airport, drove us to my great aunt's house, and took us to Whataburger on the way. Sure, we talked in the car, but there's just nothing that compares to sharing a (delicious) meal with a friend. One day, I might not remember what we ate together, or even that Jon picked us up from the airport, but I'll definitely remember that he was kind enough to spend time eating with us.
On our way down to the New Braunfels, we stopped to see our good ol' professor, RJ. He took us to a wonderful yogurt place, and we caught up on all the random parts of our lives. Enjoying food was, once again, a great unifying experience, and we had a great time together. I'm not saying that the trip to the bookstore wasn't great, but sharing food in Christian community was important yet again.
Finally, we had dinner with a bunch of our San Antonio area friends. Despite getting together for weddings several times since college graduations, I always enjoy group dinners the most. Sure, we could get together and play a game, watch a movie, or just hang out, but there is nothing like sharing a meal with great friends. Talking, laughing, and eating together is something that I wouldn't miss for the world.
Jesus and his disciples spent a lot of time eating together. The most significant was, of course, the Last Supper, but every meal they share is important. I hope I can remember that as I continue to share meals with great friends.
14.8.11
Day 35
"Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 'It is written,' he said to them, ''My house will be called a house of prayer,'' but you are making it a 'den of robbers.'""
Matthew 21:12-13
Today I spent some time thinking about whether we are being the church we are called to be, or if we are the "den of robbers" that Jesus talks about in this passage. Are we known for our prayer and service, or are we known for taking money and only serving ourselves?
I have no intention of going into a church and overturning all of the tables and chairs, but I do think it's important for us to have a critical eye on our churches. We are called to love, to serve, to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world. If we are not these things, if we have become more about who is upset with whom, what is the right protocol for lighting the candles, and our outer appearances, we have become just as bad as the temple Jesus entered during his ministry.
I think that the Christian church as a whole has become more of the latter, ignoring the former. We're more worried about the way we want things to look today than we are about whose life we could change tomorrow. We forget that Jesus didn't care how the sacrifices were made/how much they cost, but about the sentiment behind the sacrifice.
We need to refocus as a church, and that starts with each one of us refocusing. That's one of my goals with this project, and I challenge all of you to do the same--remember what we're called to be, and act on it each day of your life.
Also, my cat would like you to know: 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777n
Matthew 21:12-13
Today I spent some time thinking about whether we are being the church we are called to be, or if we are the "den of robbers" that Jesus talks about in this passage. Are we known for our prayer and service, or are we known for taking money and only serving ourselves?
I have no intention of going into a church and overturning all of the tables and chairs, but I do think it's important for us to have a critical eye on our churches. We are called to love, to serve, to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world. If we are not these things, if we have become more about who is upset with whom, what is the right protocol for lighting the candles, and our outer appearances, we have become just as bad as the temple Jesus entered during his ministry.
I think that the Christian church as a whole has become more of the latter, ignoring the former. We're more worried about the way we want things to look today than we are about whose life we could change tomorrow. We forget that Jesus didn't care how the sacrifices were made/how much they cost, but about the sentiment behind the sacrifice.
We need to refocus as a church, and that starts with each one of us refocusing. That's one of my goals with this project, and I challenge all of you to do the same--remember what we're called to be, and act on it each day of your life.
Also, my cat would like you to know: 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777n
13.8.11
Day 34
"'Dear woman, why do you involve me?'" Jesus replied. 'My time has not yet come.'
His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'"
John 2:4-5
I discussed this story at a Bible study group once, and the leader talked about how Jesus' mom is the perfect Jewish mother. Even though Jesus says it's not yet his time, she just tells the servants to follow his lead.
I have to admit that I also like Jesus' response. Although he already said he's not ready for this, he still does exactly what his mother asks of him. How many times have I let someone tell me what I'm going to do, even as I say, "No, no, I can't!"
It's nice to know that Jesus was pressured into doing some things, as well. In this case, he performed a miracle just because his mother wouldn't take "No" for an answer. It makes me feel better about my own relationships with others, and my ability to be told what to do. Even Jesus was a pushover on occasion. Also, he liked to drink wine. Sweet.
His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'"
John 2:4-5
I discussed this story at a Bible study group once, and the leader talked about how Jesus' mom is the perfect Jewish mother. Even though Jesus says it's not yet his time, she just tells the servants to follow his lead.
I have to admit that I also like Jesus' response. Although he already said he's not ready for this, he still does exactly what his mother asks of him. How many times have I let someone tell me what I'm going to do, even as I say, "No, no, I can't!"
It's nice to know that Jesus was pressured into doing some things, as well. In this case, he performed a miracle just because his mother wouldn't take "No" for an answer. It makes me feel better about my own relationships with others, and my ability to be told what to do. Even Jesus was a pushover on occasion. Also, he liked to drink wine. Sweet.
12.8.11
Day 33
"Immediately he spoke to them and said, 'Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.' Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed."
Mark 6:50-51
On my way to work today, I was jamming with my Ipod when I started thinking, which is always a dangerous pursuit. I was thinking about driving to and from class or riding the train, when I'll have to leave work on Mondays to get to class on time, whether I'll enjoy my classes or not, etc. Then I started thinking about whether I can handle full-time class and full-timeish work, whether I'll get bored or lonely on the way to school, whether I'll make friends, whether I'll be able to do it or not.
Then the fear set in. Can I really handle this? AM I intelligent, hard-working, and faithful enough to get a Masters of Divinity? Do I have any idea what I'm doing, or am I making a huge mistake?
I hadn't come up with my Jesus-ified task of the day, but I definitely knew it now. I spent a lot of time in prayer today asking for peace and not fear. I fear a lot of things in my life, including some ridiculous ones. This is definitely a legitimate concern, but I know that God is calling me to be a pastor, and he'll be with me through this whole process.
Mark 6:50-51
On my way to work today, I was jamming with my Ipod when I started thinking, which is always a dangerous pursuit. I was thinking about driving to and from class or riding the train, when I'll have to leave work on Mondays to get to class on time, whether I'll enjoy my classes or not, etc. Then I started thinking about whether I can handle full-time class and full-timeish work, whether I'll get bored or lonely on the way to school, whether I'll make friends, whether I'll be able to do it or not.
Then the fear set in. Can I really handle this? AM I intelligent, hard-working, and faithful enough to get a Masters of Divinity? Do I have any idea what I'm doing, or am I making a huge mistake?
I hadn't come up with my Jesus-ified task of the day, but I definitely knew it now. I spent a lot of time in prayer today asking for peace and not fear. I fear a lot of things in my life, including some ridiculous ones. This is definitely a legitimate concern, but I know that God is calling me to be a pastor, and he'll be with me through this whole process.
11.8.11
Day 32
"'Woman,' he said, 'why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?'
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, 'Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.'
Jesus said to her, 'Mary.'
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, 'Rabboni!' (which means Teacher)."
John 20:15-16
Once Jesus is resurrected, he makes a number of appearances like this to his disciples. He comes back to meet with them, yet doesn't reveal himself until a certain point in the exchange. He walks miles to Emmaus, not telling his disciples that he has risen. They don't realize it until they're sitting down to dinner with him. He appears to his fishermen disciples, but they don't know who he is until he invites them to the shore.
The lesson I took from this trend is that there are correct and incorrect times to reveal one's true nature to others. Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that, as the cast of Scrubs explains to Janitor, you can't reveal all your "crazy" at once. There are characteristics that a new friend, coworker, boss, date, teacher, etc. need to know about you right away, and these vary by the person. But there are other things that need to be saved for the right moment. In the relationship, your "crazy" should be saved. A new friend needs to earn trust before learning some important information.
My point here is that I sometimes reveal too much or not enough or say the wrong things in the right situations, etc. As a pastor, I'll have to be able to recognize what is the right and wrong thing to do, and when to show my "crazy." I pray that I will hear God's prodding and calling on my heart.
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, 'Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.'
Jesus said to her, 'Mary.'
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, 'Rabboni!' (which means Teacher)."
John 20:15-16
Once Jesus is resurrected, he makes a number of appearances like this to his disciples. He comes back to meet with them, yet doesn't reveal himself until a certain point in the exchange. He walks miles to Emmaus, not telling his disciples that he has risen. They don't realize it until they're sitting down to dinner with him. He appears to his fishermen disciples, but they don't know who he is until he invites them to the shore.
The lesson I took from this trend is that there are correct and incorrect times to reveal one's true nature to others. Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that, as the cast of Scrubs explains to Janitor, you can't reveal all your "crazy" at once. There are characteristics that a new friend, coworker, boss, date, teacher, etc. need to know about you right away, and these vary by the person. But there are other things that need to be saved for the right moment. In the relationship, your "crazy" should be saved. A new friend needs to earn trust before learning some important information.
My point here is that I sometimes reveal too much or not enough or say the wrong things in the right situations, etc. As a pastor, I'll have to be able to recognize what is the right and wrong thing to do, and when to show my "crazy." I pray that I will hear God's prodding and calling on my heart.
10.8.11
Day 31
"'O unbelieving and perverse generation,' Jesus replied, 'how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?'"
Matthew 17:17
Jesus has a lot of outbursts like this throughout the Gospels. He gets upset with his disciples, his followers, his family, etc. He gets mad because they don't understand what he's talking about, because they make ridiculous requests, or because he's just plain frustrated. As part of today's challenge, I took this as permission to sometimes get frustrated with other people.
I think the bigger takeaway from these parts of Jesus' ministry is that we has humans are frustrating to be aorund. Jesus discovered this as he tried to lead the Jewish people to a new kind of living--one where they lived peacefully, worshipped God properly, and loved all people. Yet they didn't get it. We still don't. This can be annoying for those of us who are/have aspirations to lead God's people. But, more importantly, it reminds us that we can easily ignore Jesus' callings on our lives.
How many times did Jesus show me that I am called to become a pastor, yet I ignored his call and his signs for upward of five years? How many times does he answer my prayers and I pretend I don't notice? How many times is the path clear, but I've blinded myself to it?
I know that I'm not going to be perfect, and that I'm not always going to notice when God is showing me the way. Yet today and in the future, I'm going to use my expanded prayer and alone time to really open myself to what God is saying to me. Jesus would appreciate it.
Matthew 17:17
Jesus has a lot of outbursts like this throughout the Gospels. He gets upset with his disciples, his followers, his family, etc. He gets mad because they don't understand what he's talking about, because they make ridiculous requests, or because he's just plain frustrated. As part of today's challenge, I took this as permission to sometimes get frustrated with other people.
I think the bigger takeaway from these parts of Jesus' ministry is that we has humans are frustrating to be aorund. Jesus discovered this as he tried to lead the Jewish people to a new kind of living--one where they lived peacefully, worshipped God properly, and loved all people. Yet they didn't get it. We still don't. This can be annoying for those of us who are/have aspirations to lead God's people. But, more importantly, it reminds us that we can easily ignore Jesus' callings on our lives.
How many times did Jesus show me that I am called to become a pastor, yet I ignored his call and his signs for upward of five years? How many times does he answer my prayers and I pretend I don't notice? How many times is the path clear, but I've blinded myself to it?
I know that I'm not going to be perfect, and that I'm not always going to notice when God is showing me the way. Yet today and in the future, I'm going to use my expanded prayer and alone time to really open myself to what God is saying to me. Jesus would appreciate it.
9.8.11
Day 30
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: 'Everyone is looking for you!'"
Mark 1:35-37
I think people today forget a lot that we need to take time for ourselves. Even Jesus did it. He went off to pray by himself after a few days of ministry. He needed a break--some time to be alone and to talk to his Father. Even though his time got interrupted, he still took a moment for himself. There's also an importance in knowing the difference between needing to take time for ourselves and needing to be there for our friends.
I don't have a lot of time alone, but I do have a lot of time with just Wes, which is almost as good. We don't have kids, we don't have high-stress jobs, etc., so I don't particularly need a lot of alone time. But everyone always needs to take some time for silence, prayer, and nothingness.
Today, I made sure I used the time I did have alone. While I was driving back and forth to work, I put on my "Awesome Christian Music" mix and had some prayer/praising Jesus time. I'm going to take some time every day to do this. Alone time is good for me.
Mark 1:35-37
I think people today forget a lot that we need to take time for ourselves. Even Jesus did it. He went off to pray by himself after a few days of ministry. He needed a break--some time to be alone and to talk to his Father. Even though his time got interrupted, he still took a moment for himself. There's also an importance in knowing the difference between needing to take time for ourselves and needing to be there for our friends.
I don't have a lot of time alone, but I do have a lot of time with just Wes, which is almost as good. We don't have kids, we don't have high-stress jobs, etc., so I don't particularly need a lot of alone time. But everyone always needs to take some time for silence, prayer, and nothingness.
Today, I made sure I used the time I did have alone. While I was driving back and forth to work, I put on my "Awesome Christian Music" mix and had some prayer/praising Jesus time. I'm going to take some time every day to do this. Alone time is good for me.
8.8.11
Day 29
And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
Luke 22:19-20
I went to both services with Wes yesterday because we sang and because we wanted everyone to get a chance to see Katherine again. Usually, I either sleep late and go to the second service or go to the first service and then hang out at the house waiting for Wes to come home.
We've started doing Communion every week, which is very exciting for me as a Lutheran. We Lutherans always do Communion every week, so going to the Methodist church and only getting Communion once a month has been getting on my nerves. So I took Communion twice yesterday, and I really started thinking about whether I honor the Sacrament like I should.
Do I just go and take the bread and juice, the go back to my seat? Somedays, I definitely do. I try to remember to say a prayer of thanks to Jesus for his great sacrifice when I go, but sometimes I forget to do even that. Jesus died for my sins, and I can't even treat Communion with the respect it deserves.
During church yesterday, I really paid attention to the words of the service, and I said a couple of prayers. I'm making a commitment to really honoring Communion the way it should be honored.
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
Luke 22:19-20
I went to both services with Wes yesterday because we sang and because we wanted everyone to get a chance to see Katherine again. Usually, I either sleep late and go to the second service or go to the first service and then hang out at the house waiting for Wes to come home.
We've started doing Communion every week, which is very exciting for me as a Lutheran. We Lutherans always do Communion every week, so going to the Methodist church and only getting Communion once a month has been getting on my nerves. So I took Communion twice yesterday, and I really started thinking about whether I honor the Sacrament like I should.
Do I just go and take the bread and juice, the go back to my seat? Somedays, I definitely do. I try to remember to say a prayer of thanks to Jesus for his great sacrifice when I go, but sometimes I forget to do even that. Jesus died for my sins, and I can't even treat Communion with the respect it deserves.
During church yesterday, I really paid attention to the words of the service, and I said a couple of prayers. I'm making a commitment to really honoring Communion the way it should be honored.
6.8.11
Day 28
"The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again.' And his disciples heard him say it."
Mark 11:12-14
Many of us think of Jesus as a great example of perfection, who never made mistakes and never really acted human. Thinking about Jesus that way makes him less accessible, makes his sacrifice less powerful, and makes it more difficult to see his humanity. Yet Jesus certainly does get angry in this passage, and it's not even rational. The tree is not bearing fruit because it is not the season for figs. There is nothing wrong with this fig tree. It is going through the seasonal stages it is supposed to, but it is just not time for it to produce figs.
But Jesus, in his hunger, doesn't think about this. All he can think about is being hungry, and the fact that the tree doesn't have any fruit for him to eat makes him angry. He curses the tree, which later withers and dies.
I don't think of myself as an angry person, but I definitely do get upset sometimes. Occasionally, I even get upset completely irrationally, like Jesus in this story. Recently, I have been angry about Wes accidentally hurting me, not getting the money I was expecting for seminary, and my house not being as nice as I think it should be. Some of this anger was fair and justified. Some of it made no sense.
Knowing that Jesus got angry, and not necessarily for a good reason, doesn't mean that I should aim for that. It does, however, give me permission to make mistakes and get angry on occasion. Thank goodness I don't have to be perfect!
Mark 11:12-14
Many of us think of Jesus as a great example of perfection, who never made mistakes and never really acted human. Thinking about Jesus that way makes him less accessible, makes his sacrifice less powerful, and makes it more difficult to see his humanity. Yet Jesus certainly does get angry in this passage, and it's not even rational. The tree is not bearing fruit because it is not the season for figs. There is nothing wrong with this fig tree. It is going through the seasonal stages it is supposed to, but it is just not time for it to produce figs.
But Jesus, in his hunger, doesn't think about this. All he can think about is being hungry, and the fact that the tree doesn't have any fruit for him to eat makes him angry. He curses the tree, which later withers and dies.
I don't think of myself as an angry person, but I definitely do get upset sometimes. Occasionally, I even get upset completely irrationally, like Jesus in this story. Recently, I have been angry about Wes accidentally hurting me, not getting the money I was expecting for seminary, and my house not being as nice as I think it should be. Some of this anger was fair and justified. Some of it made no sense.
Knowing that Jesus got angry, and not necessarily for a good reason, doesn't mean that I should aim for that. It does, however, give me permission to make mistakes and get angry on occasion. Thank goodness I don't have to be perfect!
4.8.11
Day 27
"As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, 'This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.'"
Matthew 3:16-17
Today, I enjoyed my status as part of God's creation. God created the world for humans to enjoy, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed my day at the beach.
Although we went to the beach to have fun and for Kat to get to experience the Jersey Shore, I spent some time floating along and reflecting on the awesomeness of God's creation. I can't even come up with a poem to describe what creation is like, yet God made it all. I can't comprehend calling the world into being--and such a fascinating world it is.
The ocean is such a beautiful sight. Even in the places where it seems calm, there is life teeming throughout it. We were reminded of this when seaweed caught around our ankles, when the teeny jellyfish stung us, and as the seagulls flew around looking for a meal.
Then there are the currents and tides. Throughout the world, warm and cool water currents are constantly moving in the ocean. They affect our lives, and the livelihood of the fish. And from my vantage point, I could see and feel towering waves, little waves, warm and cool pockets of sand and water, as well as much more. Then there was the undertow; I got knocked down by a couple of waves, but it was the pullback that scared me the most. Even a strong swimmer like me can succumb to the power of the ocean.
As I swam farther out, I remembered just how big the ocean is. The amount of water, power, and life contained within it is too much for me to fathom. And that's just one part of our world. How much bigger, more complicated, and amazing is the God who created it?
From our vantage point, we could see New York City. I was instantly brought back into the "regular" world, a world of traffic, lots of people, money, food, and waste. We have made some impressive things-- I think the only way to see the whole NYC skyline is from that distance. What an accomplishment. Then there was the trash...oh so much trash floated around us as we swam today. I was suddenly reminded of how humanity has and is destroying God's beautiful earth. God spent all that time creating the world for us to live in, and we've spent most of our time here making it an uglier place. What a shame.
I am sure there is much more to say about God's creation and the ocean, but these were just some of the thoughts I had today. Jesus certainly knew about the many parts of creation, admiring them and recognizing their beauty and power. He also cared for them, as I try to do every day.
Matthew 3:16-17
Today, I enjoyed my status as part of God's creation. God created the world for humans to enjoy, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed my day at the beach.
Although we went to the beach to have fun and for Kat to get to experience the Jersey Shore, I spent some time floating along and reflecting on the awesomeness of God's creation. I can't even come up with a poem to describe what creation is like, yet God made it all. I can't comprehend calling the world into being--and such a fascinating world it is.
The ocean is such a beautiful sight. Even in the places where it seems calm, there is life teeming throughout it. We were reminded of this when seaweed caught around our ankles, when the teeny jellyfish stung us, and as the seagulls flew around looking for a meal.
Then there are the currents and tides. Throughout the world, warm and cool water currents are constantly moving in the ocean. They affect our lives, and the livelihood of the fish. And from my vantage point, I could see and feel towering waves, little waves, warm and cool pockets of sand and water, as well as much more. Then there was the undertow; I got knocked down by a couple of waves, but it was the pullback that scared me the most. Even a strong swimmer like me can succumb to the power of the ocean.
As I swam farther out, I remembered just how big the ocean is. The amount of water, power, and life contained within it is too much for me to fathom. And that's just one part of our world. How much bigger, more complicated, and amazing is the God who created it?
From our vantage point, we could see New York City. I was instantly brought back into the "regular" world, a world of traffic, lots of people, money, food, and waste. We have made some impressive things-- I think the only way to see the whole NYC skyline is from that distance. What an accomplishment. Then there was the trash...oh so much trash floated around us as we swam today. I was suddenly reminded of how humanity has and is destroying God's beautiful earth. God spent all that time creating the world for us to live in, and we've spent most of our time here making it an uglier place. What a shame.
I am sure there is much more to say about God's creation and the ocean, but these were just some of the thoughts I had today. Jesus certainly knew about the many parts of creation, admiring them and recognizing their beauty and power. He also cared for them, as I try to do every day.
3.8.11
Day 26
"Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'One thing you lack,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth."
Mark 10:21-22
I really like this passage. It was actually one of the parts of Mark I told for our storytelling class. A lot of people use this to say that rich people will have a harder time truly following Jesus than those of us who are...monetarily challenged. Part of this interpretation comes from the fact that Jesus' next line is "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" But I don't think that he's talking about being rich in money alone, or that richness is the only roadblock to becoming better followers of Christ. I've seen people with a lot of money serve Christ in wonderful ways, and I've seen (and been a part of) people who are poor who complain more than they worship.
I think Jesus is specifically talking about this rich man's stumbling block: his riches are more important to him than following Christ. Yet he is also speaking more generally about the challenges we face to ministry, love, service, and worship. Some people are unable to get past their anger in order to let go and worship Christ. Others are unable to break out of their nervousness and proclaim the good news. Many cannot stop stressing about the worries of today long enough to say a prayer and thank God for grace. And some, like me, cannot see past the challenges in their life to recgonize what they need to do.
After signing up for full-time class for the fall, I'm going to be in half as much debt as I would be if I went part-time, but it's still a significant chunk of money I don't have for school. Since I didn't plan on going full-time, I missed out on a number of scholarship opportunities that I would have otherwise had. In the short term, this might mean taking out another small loan, borrowing from family members, or doing my best to find the money in our budget to pay for school outright. In the long term, I'll be able to get more scholarships from the school, more outside (free) aid, and more time to save for the leftover bits. It's also going to make going to school the next two years much less stressful, much more flexible, and hopefully fun.
Yet here I am, stuck on the money issue. I can't see past the missing thousands of dollars to realize that this is clearly the path God is pointing me down. When I was $10,000 short for school at LSTC two years ago, I didn't even think twice. I knew God was telling me that it wasn't time for me to go to school, and perhaps that wasn't the place for me to go at all. Right now, I can clearly feel God telling me that LTSP is the right place, and this is the right time, but that doesn't mean life is going to be challenge free. But instead of seeing the benefits, the awesome opportunity, and the grace, all I can think about is the money I don't have.
I know I've said this before, but God never, ever promised us an easy life. He did promise to walk by us, even guide us, through life. Yet we are still going to have trials. I should be thankful that mine have been few and far between, that I have a loving family and friend support system, and that I can so readily discern God's call on my life. So today I vow to do so, and I ask that you would pray for my success.
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth."
Mark 10:21-22
I really like this passage. It was actually one of the parts of Mark I told for our storytelling class. A lot of people use this to say that rich people will have a harder time truly following Jesus than those of us who are...monetarily challenged. Part of this interpretation comes from the fact that Jesus' next line is "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" But I don't think that he's talking about being rich in money alone, or that richness is the only roadblock to becoming better followers of Christ. I've seen people with a lot of money serve Christ in wonderful ways, and I've seen (and been a part of) people who are poor who complain more than they worship.
I think Jesus is specifically talking about this rich man's stumbling block: his riches are more important to him than following Christ. Yet he is also speaking more generally about the challenges we face to ministry, love, service, and worship. Some people are unable to get past their anger in order to let go and worship Christ. Others are unable to break out of their nervousness and proclaim the good news. Many cannot stop stressing about the worries of today long enough to say a prayer and thank God for grace. And some, like me, cannot see past the challenges in their life to recgonize what they need to do.
After signing up for full-time class for the fall, I'm going to be in half as much debt as I would be if I went part-time, but it's still a significant chunk of money I don't have for school. Since I didn't plan on going full-time, I missed out on a number of scholarship opportunities that I would have otherwise had. In the short term, this might mean taking out another small loan, borrowing from family members, or doing my best to find the money in our budget to pay for school outright. In the long term, I'll be able to get more scholarships from the school, more outside (free) aid, and more time to save for the leftover bits. It's also going to make going to school the next two years much less stressful, much more flexible, and hopefully fun.
Yet here I am, stuck on the money issue. I can't see past the missing thousands of dollars to realize that this is clearly the path God is pointing me down. When I was $10,000 short for school at LSTC two years ago, I didn't even think twice. I knew God was telling me that it wasn't time for me to go to school, and perhaps that wasn't the place for me to go at all. Right now, I can clearly feel God telling me that LTSP is the right place, and this is the right time, but that doesn't mean life is going to be challenge free. But instead of seeing the benefits, the awesome opportunity, and the grace, all I can think about is the money I don't have.
I know I've said this before, but God never, ever promised us an easy life. He did promise to walk by us, even guide us, through life. Yet we are still going to have trials. I should be thankful that mine have been few and far between, that I have a loving family and friend support system, and that I can so readily discern God's call on my life. So today I vow to do so, and I ask that you would pray for my success.
2.8.11
Day 25
"'I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.'"
John14:18
Those of you who read our blog know that Wes and I want to adopt children. As of today, we're also going to be adopting a cat! Woot!
I think it's very relevant that Jesus talks about leaving his disciples not as orphans, but will return to them. Most Christians talk about God as Father, making us all brothers and sisters in Christ. We are no longer orphans, as we were when Jesus died and ascended, but we are a part of God's family.
Much like God has willingly accepted us into his family, making us his children. We are no longer wandering the world, alone and parentless. We have the perfect, wonderful Father. In the same way, I think we are called to take care of the orphans of this world. Although not all of us have the means or the desire to adopt orphans, Jesus makes it clear that we are to care for them as our own--feeding, visiting, clothing, and loving them as God's children.
I don't think animals are any different. I don't think God would want domesticated animals left alone to fend for themselves in the world. So we're called to take care of them as part of God's creation, as well. Some people, like the volunteers at Res-Q-Pets, foster or care for the animals while they're waiting for families. Others, like Wes and I, adopt the animals. Still others, like the people who shop at Shop Rite in Hamilton, provide food and money to care for the pets. None of these is a higher calling than another. They are all part of caring for God's creation, and we are all a part of that goal.
John14:18
Those of you who read our blog know that Wes and I want to adopt children. As of today, we're also going to be adopting a cat! Woot!
I think it's very relevant that Jesus talks about leaving his disciples not as orphans, but will return to them. Most Christians talk about God as Father, making us all brothers and sisters in Christ. We are no longer orphans, as we were when Jesus died and ascended, but we are a part of God's family.
Much like God has willingly accepted us into his family, making us his children. We are no longer wandering the world, alone and parentless. We have the perfect, wonderful Father. In the same way, I think we are called to take care of the orphans of this world. Although not all of us have the means or the desire to adopt orphans, Jesus makes it clear that we are to care for them as our own--feeding, visiting, clothing, and loving them as God's children.
I don't think animals are any different. I don't think God would want domesticated animals left alone to fend for themselves in the world. So we're called to take care of them as part of God's creation, as well. Some people, like the volunteers at Res-Q-Pets, foster or care for the animals while they're waiting for families. Others, like Wes and I, adopt the animals. Still others, like the people who shop at Shop Rite in Hamilton, provide food and money to care for the pets. None of these is a higher calling than another. They are all part of caring for God's creation, and we are all a part of that goal.
1.8.11
Day 24
"The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, 'Return home and tell how much God has done for you.' So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him."
Luke 8:38-39
When things go wrong, when my plan is changed, when I just don't like what's going on, I definitely get upset. Yet Jesus clearly shows that each of us is called to different things. Not all of the people he encountered were called to be his disciples, to follow him wherever he went throughout the land. Some were sent back with a warning not to tell anyone what had happened. Others were told to live their lives less sinfully. Still others, like the man who had been possessed by Legion, were supposed to spread the good news everywhere.
Today, I found out that my financial aid for school would only be $2000 for the year if I only went part time, as planned. When we talked to the admissions people, they told me I would get at least 40% tuition. At $1500 a class, $2000 is nowhere near 40% for the year. So here I was, discussing the situation by email with the financial aid director, then calling Wes to update him. Needless to say, I was upset. I have been planning on going part time this year, then going full time next year, when Wes is almost done with school and I could quit working.
Now, instead, I'm going to be going full time for all three years. As I became increasingly frustrated with the financial aid situation, I realized there was a "simple" solution: take one more class, go full time, and live with it. The classes only run 10 weeks a semester, and then 2-3 weeks during the short term. Basically, for 20 weeks of my life, I'm going to be working a little harder, driving a little extra, and not having a lot of free time. If I can't deal with that, then I'm definitely not cut out to be a pastor.
I don't know why things worked out this way, and I don't think I need to ask. For one reason or another, I need to be in school full time this year. It's going to cause some stress and headaches on occasion, but it's going to make my CPE and candidacy process a heck of a lot easier. Maybe that's the reason. Maybe it's a reason I'll discover years from now. Maybe I'll never know. But I believe that God has called us each to do something, and that he has laid out the path for that to happen. It may not be easy, and we might make some mistakes along the way, but God is always walking with us.
Luke 8:38-39
When things go wrong, when my plan is changed, when I just don't like what's going on, I definitely get upset. Yet Jesus clearly shows that each of us is called to different things. Not all of the people he encountered were called to be his disciples, to follow him wherever he went throughout the land. Some were sent back with a warning not to tell anyone what had happened. Others were told to live their lives less sinfully. Still others, like the man who had been possessed by Legion, were supposed to spread the good news everywhere.
Today, I found out that my financial aid for school would only be $2000 for the year if I only went part time, as planned. When we talked to the admissions people, they told me I would get at least 40% tuition. At $1500 a class, $2000 is nowhere near 40% for the year. So here I was, discussing the situation by email with the financial aid director, then calling Wes to update him. Needless to say, I was upset. I have been planning on going part time this year, then going full time next year, when Wes is almost done with school and I could quit working.
Now, instead, I'm going to be going full time for all three years. As I became increasingly frustrated with the financial aid situation, I realized there was a "simple" solution: take one more class, go full time, and live with it. The classes only run 10 weeks a semester, and then 2-3 weeks during the short term. Basically, for 20 weeks of my life, I'm going to be working a little harder, driving a little extra, and not having a lot of free time. If I can't deal with that, then I'm definitely not cut out to be a pastor.
I don't know why things worked out this way, and I don't think I need to ask. For one reason or another, I need to be in school full time this year. It's going to cause some stress and headaches on occasion, but it's going to make my CPE and candidacy process a heck of a lot easier. Maybe that's the reason. Maybe it's a reason I'll discover years from now. Maybe I'll never know. But I believe that God has called us each to do something, and that he has laid out the path for that to happen. It may not be easy, and we might make some mistakes along the way, but God is always walking with us.
Day 23- From Sunday
"Then he said to them, 'The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.'"
Mark 2:27-28
We went and got Katherine, Wes' little sister, from Philly yesterday, and then we came back and crashed, so this is yesterday's post.
I've thought often of what it means for the Sabbath to be made for people rather than people being made for the Sabbath. First and foremost, this clearly establishes people as more important than any festival or special occasion--even a God-ordained one. Yet it also means that the Sabbath is something we should observe, not some old, outdated law.
There are many, many rules for the Sabbath in the Hebrew Bible as well as throughout Jewish history. We aren't supposed to work, cook, walk farther than a mile, build a fire...and the list goes on. The most Orthodox Jews today won't turn on a light because that is the modern equivalent of building a fire. Most Christians do nothing more than go to church on Sunday--if that.
So how can I make the Sabbath be for me, rather than be a slave to the Sabbath? What constitutes work, and what is a pleasant observance of God's resting on the seventh day of creation? If I check my email and there is some work/school related matter, am I breaking the Sabbath? Should I take a walk, because it relaxes me and brings me closer to nature, God's creation? If I sit around watching TV all day, I am definitely resting, but is it the right kind of resting? Should I do nothing but read the Bible all day?
These are all valid questions, and issues we need to address as we try to properly honor God's day. I, for one, will definitely be taking walks, watching a little TV, and going to worship every Sunday. I am also going to start reading some of the Bible, and spend some time reflecting on God's work in my life.
Mark 2:27-28
We went and got Katherine, Wes' little sister, from Philly yesterday, and then we came back and crashed, so this is yesterday's post.
I've thought often of what it means for the Sabbath to be made for people rather than people being made for the Sabbath. First and foremost, this clearly establishes people as more important than any festival or special occasion--even a God-ordained one. Yet it also means that the Sabbath is something we should observe, not some old, outdated law.
There are many, many rules for the Sabbath in the Hebrew Bible as well as throughout Jewish history. We aren't supposed to work, cook, walk farther than a mile, build a fire...and the list goes on. The most Orthodox Jews today won't turn on a light because that is the modern equivalent of building a fire. Most Christians do nothing more than go to church on Sunday--if that.
So how can I make the Sabbath be for me, rather than be a slave to the Sabbath? What constitutes work, and what is a pleasant observance of God's resting on the seventh day of creation? If I check my email and there is some work/school related matter, am I breaking the Sabbath? Should I take a walk, because it relaxes me and brings me closer to nature, God's creation? If I sit around watching TV all day, I am definitely resting, but is it the right kind of resting? Should I do nothing but read the Bible all day?
These are all valid questions, and issues we need to address as we try to properly honor God's day. I, for one, will definitely be taking walks, watching a little TV, and going to worship every Sunday. I am also going to start reading some of the Bible, and spend some time reflecting on God's work in my life.
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