Day 26

"Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'One thing you lack,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'

At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth."

Mark 10:21-22

I really like this passage. It was actually one of the parts of Mark I told for our storytelling class. A lot of people use this to say that rich people will have a harder time truly following Jesus than those of us who are...monetarily challenged. Part of this interpretation comes from the fact that Jesus' next line is "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" But I don't think that he's talking about being rich in money alone, or that richness is the only roadblock to becoming better followers of Christ. I've seen people with a lot of money serve Christ in wonderful ways, and I've seen (and been a part of) people who are poor who complain more than they worship.

I think Jesus is specifically talking about this rich man's stumbling block: his riches are more important to him than following Christ. Yet he is also speaking more generally about the challenges we face to ministry, love, service, and worship. Some people are unable to get past their anger in order to let go and worship Christ. Others are unable to break out of their nervousness and proclaim the good news. Many cannot stop stressing about the worries of today long enough to say a prayer and thank God for grace. And some, like me, cannot see past the challenges in their life to recgonize what they need to do.

After signing up for full-time class for the fall, I'm going to be in half as much debt as I would be if I went part-time, but it's still a significant chunk of money I don't have for school. Since I didn't plan on going full-time, I missed out on a number of scholarship opportunities that I would have otherwise had. In the short term, this might mean taking out another small loan, borrowing from family members, or doing my best to find the money in our budget to pay for school outright. In the long term, I'll be able to get more scholarships from the school, more outside (free) aid, and more time to save for the leftover bits. It's also going to make going to school the next two years much less stressful, much more flexible, and hopefully fun.

Yet here I am, stuck on the money issue. I can't see past the missing thousands of dollars to realize that this is clearly the path God is pointing me down. When I was $10,000 short for school at LSTC two years ago, I didn't even think twice. I knew God was telling me that it wasn't time for me to go to school, and perhaps that wasn't the place for me to go at all. Right now, I can clearly feel God telling me that LTSP is the right place, and this is the right time, but that doesn't mean life is going to be challenge free. But instead of seeing the benefits, the awesome opportunity, and the grace, all I can think about is the money I don't have.

I know I've said this before, but God never, ever promised us an easy life. He did promise to walk by us, even guide us, through life. Yet we are still going to have trials. I should be thankful that mine have been few and far between, that I have a loving family and friend support system, and that I can so readily discern God's call on my life. So today I vow to do so, and I ask that you would pray for my success.