What's in a Name?

This week, things were “back to normal,” so to speak. I didn’t have any great spiritual revelations, there were no special events during the services, and I wasn’t in charge of anything. But I’ve recognized something about myself recently, and I’m really trying to address it. I have a fair amount of difficulty learning people’s names, and I get very nervous about making mistakes. For this reason, I have recognized that I rarely address people by their names.

Perhaps some of this hesitancy comes from silly mistakes I have made with names throughout the years. I have, unfortunately, inherited my mother’s and my grandmother’s tendency to mix up the names of even people I know. I don’t know how many times my mom called me Josiah over the years. When Josiah came to visit this Christmas, I mixed his name up with Wes’ at least once a day. In college, I confidently introduced my new friend “Alexander” to my roommate, only to have “Alexander” inform me that his name was, in fact, Jonathan. Luckily for me, this did not hinder our friendship!

Therefore, I have a hard time going up to someone and saying, “Good morning, ____!” I generally go with “Good morning!” I don’t think my lack of naming people hinders my sincerity or make them think I am cold, but it definitely makes a difference. I have been to many places where the pastor, as he/she was giving me Communion, says, “Jessica, this is Christ’s body, broken for you.” What a joy it is to be named! How wonderful to share the peace and hear “The peace be with you, Jessica.” Jesus’ sacrifice, that peace is for me. Not just from the person speaking, but from God!

In light of this reflection, how can I not use people’s names? I love being named. I love knowing that someone cares about me as myself, as God’s child, baptized and named. Yet I still have this fear that I’ll make a mistake. And if I make a mistake in naming someone, what will that do to our relationship? Having gone through most of my life with the last name Matlack, a brother named Josiah, and a mom named “Karen” spelled Karin, I know the pain of being misnamed. What if I add to someone’s pain?

I’m not sure how to resolve this problem yet. I know that I need to start using people’s names. Simply using the names I know when passing the peace, talking during the fellowship time, and meeting throughout the week will remind me of those very names. Perhaps as I practice and make mistakes, I’ll learn more names, learn people’s stories, and learn how to better learn new names and faces. I genuinely care about these people, as I’m sure I’ll care about my future congregations. How do I get that across while allowing myself to make mistakes? Sometimes it’s good to go with Luther and “Sin boldly.”